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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Sporks and Sporksforall--A Conversation

Sporks:  Hey blog, how are you?

Sporksforall:  Sporks!  WTF, woman?  Where've you been?  I'm good.

Sporks:  Oh, really sorry about the inattention, blog.  Thanks for just hanging out.  Been kinda busy, you know.  New job.

Sporksforall:  Wow, Sporks.  You're a Dean?

Sporks:  Actually, no.  See that sentence toward the middle:  "Most have several assistant or associate deans as well (such as an associate dean of academics or an associate dean of students)."  That's me.  Associate Dean Sporks.

Sporksforall:  Pretty cool.  Takes up a lot of time, does it?

Sporks:  Yep.  What have you been up to?

Sporksforall:  Oh, mostly handling random searches on rancid oil.  One cool thing you know about, though.  You know our picture of the nene foot?  It's going to be exhibited at the University of Hawai'i, Manoa.  Best nene foot picture ever.  It's also the top hit when you search nene foot on Google.  Pretty awesome.

Sporks:  Yep that is superveryawesome.  I'm going to get to see it.  Teresa and I are back to Hawai'i later this week.

Sporksforall:  Which islands?

Sporks:  Same as last time, Hawai'i and O'ahu.  Going to miss the Obamas, though.  Fine with me actually, as I'm mighty irritated (ok, royally pissed) about the Rick Warren thing.

Sporksforall: Yep, pretty awful.  Hey, so with all this going on--the Associate Deaning and the trip to Hawai'i--what are you doing chatting with me?

Sporks:  Oh, well, I have a few days between a trip to Atlanta and the one to Hawai'i where the Uni is closed.  First downtime in months.  Figured I'd just check in.

Sporksforall:  Ah.  You been up to anything in the downtime?

Sporks:  Organizing, actually.  I know, I know, not usually my forté.  The new job has made me appreciate a little organization, though.

Sporksforall:  I see.  What did you organize, then?

Sporks:  Glad you asked.  First up (yesterday) was the bathroom. See, I had gone to L'Occitane for a little hand lotion and on the way home, it occurred to me that I should survey my ablutions.  I couldn't survey my ablutions without also going through the other items in the nightmare that was the bathroom cabinet.  Want to see the results?

Sporksforall:  Sure.



That's the L'Occitane lotion in the silver tube.  Here's a close-up of the lotion/hair/tooth shelf.



Pretty nice, huh?

Sporksforall:  Yes, because I saw the before on that, and whew.

Sporks:  I know.  Emboldened by my success, when Teresa and I went out last night to Target, I bought two shoes hanging things for my closet.  They're AMAZING!

Sporksforall:  Really, you're going to talk about hanging shoe things as if no one ever used or thought of them before?  Really?  Look on ebay.  They have ones from before you were born.

Sporks:  Whatever.  You want to look?   Seriously, look!





Sporksforall:  I admit it looks nice, but come on, it's not like you're the first to discover closet organization.  I mean, The Container Store has been around for a while, now.  Remember when you went to it before going off to college?  That was a WHILE ago.

Sporks:  Ok, ok, I know.  But it's like the woman I heard on NPR the other day talking about how she had discovered how centrifugal force works.  Just because someone else discovered it before she did, doesn't mean she didn't also discover it.  Do you see how happy that woman on the main page of the Container Store website looks?  She's feeling what I'm feeling.

Sporksforall:  Ya huh.

Sporks:  Oh, hey, you know what I got at REI last night?  It's not organization-related...

Sporksforall:  What?

Sporks:  A new spork!  It's made of aircraft alloy and has a darling little carabiner.



Sporksforall:  Nice.  Hey--what's the red spot on the package?

Sporks:  Blood.  I cut my hand trying to get the cute little carabiner off the package.  But, guess what?  I managed to fix myself up really quickly and efficiently.  Wanna see how?



The first aid shelf!

Sporksforall:  Ok, ok, good for you.  You got yourself all set up.

Sporks:  Well, not really.  The worst job I saved for last.



Sporksforall:  That's pretty horrifying.  Maybe you should get back to work.

Sporks:  In due time, in due time.  I should probably go now--there's something productive to be done.

Sporksforall:  Ok, thanks for checking in.  Hope to see you soon.

Sporks:  2009 will be a better blogging year, I think.  Now that my shoes have slots of their own, I'll have all kinds of time.  Take care.

Sporksforall:  You too.  Hey, want to talk more about rancid oil?

Sporks:  Probably not.

Sporksforall:  Oh well, just trying to work from strength to strength.

Sporks:  Yep.  Let's work on nene feet more then.

Sporksforall:  Sounds like a plan.

____________________________________________________________________

Sporks:  Psst, Sporksforall--want to see the after?

Sporksforall:  (Sigh) Sure.



Hey, that is pretty good.

Sporks:  Thanks.  Oh, and a tip (we should all channel our inner-weese every so often...)  keep your extra bicycle tubes inside (lower left).  They'll last longer if the temperature is more controlled.

Sporksforall:  I'd care about that if I had the ability to ride a bicycle.

7 comments:

eb said...

Ah, I see the guilt of winning the BLOGleague got to you. Uh huh. Welcome back!

shauna said...

Congrats on a new post, on an excellent organizing job, and on the turn of phrase "survey my ablutions." Congrats, especially, on recognizing that shoes deserve slots of their own.
I fantasize about outfitting my entire life with nooks, crannies, holders and keepers from The Container Store, since I am rather disheveled with my belongings, except for my shoes, which are carefully catalogued and maintained (most of the time).
Oh, and the new spork is very, very impressive.

Teresa said...

If only there were "before" pics of the bathroom cabinets and the shoe situation, then readers could appreciate the full scope of what you have accomplished here. As the passive beneficiary of your labors, I'm very grateful for your organizational fury these last couple of days. Should I really thank the L'Occitane lotion for kick-starting it all?

sandra said...

oh i have dreams of my sabbatical turning my life into an organized wonder -- not gonna happen i'll bet, so congrats on actually accomplishing yours.

when do you return from the islands?

weese said...

this post warms my little weesey heart.

now... i will tell you this. hopefully it will make you laugh and not make you insane.
when i put up shelves in my closet to get my shoes off the floor (weese does not like things on the floor...not even shoes) welp i found i had an extra pair. that would not fit on my shelves.
so i had to sift through and let one go. yup.
no shoes on the floor.
(that way i can vacuum all the way into my closet without having to move shoes around)

daltalk said...

when you and your blog converse...is it only in written form or is there audio.

Shannon said...

that's some collection of ablutions.

were there cookies mixed in with your extension cords and hardware?