My therapist thinks it's stupid that I told people I know about my blog. She's not given to strong opinions generally, but she was firm in her expression of this one. It makes sense that she thinks that from a therapistic point of view. She thinks the blog has the potential to be a good release for my emotions and that in telling people I know about it, I will censor myself. She even suggested that I start another one.
This one is enough, I think. It makes me feel guilty just sitting around being static when there are not new posties.
Still, I see her therapistic point. She, like any good therapist, is my advocate even in my ongoing war against myself. That's what I pay her for and trust her to do. And she's certainly right that I censor myself here. See my previous post about truth for more discussion of that issue.
All of this is not to say I told everyone about my blog. My mother, for example=unaware. Ditto the rest of my natal family. I told AD about it, but she's had the good sense (or lack of interest) not to ask about it.
Still, the blog thing is weird. You put yourself out there in a way that is at once distancing and intimate. I read Dooce's blog and really like her way of presenting herself. I don't, however, presume I know her or am her friend. She just posted about some thing she's going to in Austin and how people (by which she means her fans) can meet her at a coffee shop. How odd, I thought, to reveal intimacies, have people "know" you in that way, and then agree to meet them. When you know nothing about them. People who didn't live nearby seemed disappointed when she announced it, many of them suggesting other venues for meets and greets.
Fame is fame, I suppose. I know a former minor actress who had a stalker. The biggest role she had was as the third name in a big digit sequel (5 or 6, I forget which) to a horror/slasher movie. We find in others what we want to find.
None of this is to suggest I'm famous (I'm not), but that because my blog is read mostly by people I know, it functions differently than it would if it were read by strangers, Then I could emote in anonymity. Not so in spork world.
So, no rant today, just some musings about the lack of ranting.
And a couple of made up words.
2 comments:
There are certainly entities you could tell who would censor you much more than those you have told: your mom, your office staff, Biscuit. I'm glad you share this part of yourself; even after 11 years together, I still learn things about you here that I didn't know before. Have I just not been paying enough attention?
Yeah, Biscuit is a real worry. The dog is hooked up with the powers that be. She could make my life a living hell.
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