Necks, organs, and bodies on the floor

The Dean arranged CPR training for the "team" today. By which she meant the main faculty people in each unit and the office manager in each unit. I decided I couldn't go with just OM and made AD come too. AD was willing. It was one of those things. There were some funny moments, like when the OM of another unit asked if we should strip people before we performed CPR. And when I pointed out that the "do not try to put organs back into the body cavity" advice was just good common sense. As was the notion that just born babies are slippery and you might drop them.

They had those CPR dummies and I somehow managed (thank goodness) to get out of crawling around on the floor. If anyone has a heart attack lying on a table, I'm your woman. It was good actually because my left knee doesn't like me. I did feel like a weak sister, given that the Dean did it on the floor and she has at least 15 years on me. Still. Collapse on the table. Go ahead.

The whole thing gave me a headache and a neck ache. Which just shows how unable I am to function right now. It was effectively a "free" day and I couldn't deal with the freedom. Somebody chain me to my computer!

The room the training was in is one of the nicer rooms on campus, big and bright with excellent equipment. But the chairs that room has. Sigh. They're rigid narrow little assholes. They don't twist, they don't recline. And by the end of the day I couldn't look side to side at all.

These kinds of things make me contemplate the random. Like how many earrings AD has in her ear (as I stare over her head) while my neck still works. Why I can't stop looking at the Dean. Why the Assistant Dean wants to try out the portable defibrillator (aka the AED) so much.



That's not him in the picture and we didn't learn how to use one, but he was really glad when the trainer mentioned they could be bought at COSTCO. For $1500. So, if you're going to have a heart problem here at my IHE, do it in the Associate Dean's office. He really wants to say, "CLEAR!"

I'll get a certificate. I will not drop the babies, I will not use the AED, I will not try to shove your organs back into you.

But if you're gonna die, do it up high. Ok? Ok.