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Thursday, August 03, 2006

Building a girl--by the numbers

Honey and I took Best Niece Ever(tm) to Build-a-Bear this morning. This has been a tradition since BNE was 2.5 and we procured for her Katie the monkey. Katie now gets a birthday party and a new outfit every year.

We set off for the 30 minute drive to Myrtle Beach. Honey, who likes to call out to inanimate objects like phone chargers, got BNE laughing by calling out "Build-a-Bear" over and over again.

We arrived and went in (Honey still calling out as we approached). We went in the first door and ended up in Friends 2 Be Made. Friends 2 Be Made is the new evil from Build-a-Bear. Friends 2 Be Made was immediately rebadged (by us) Build-a-Girl. Build-a-Girl operates pretty much the same as Build-a-Bear. One buys a girl skin, has it stuffed (after some twirling and wishing on hearts). Then one picks out outfits. It's a big production. BNE is now old enough (as opposed to the birth of Katie Monkey) to appreciate the breadth of the production, though we did deliberately avoid some parts of the store (for example, the vanity mirror area), so we could get back and go to the pool.

So, herewith the breakdown:

Time to and from Myrtle Beach: 1+ hours

Weight a child needs to be to sit in this fancy and easy to deal with booster dealio: 40 lbs

Weight of BNE: 40+ (by a little)

Weight of Honies: More than 40

Number of Starbucks in the Myrtle Beach Area: 1

Number near Build-a-complex: 1

Number of shots in my nonfat iced latte: 4

Number of shots better than any produced by God (as barista): 4

Cost of monkey bridal outfit: $15

Cost of girl (underpants and heart only): $12

Cost of monkey tiara and wand: $5

Cost of girl socks: $3

Cost of girl princess set: $8

Cost of frog in princess set: Included

Length of time between purchase of frog and purchase of prince for frog to turn into: 1 year (give or take)

Cost of girl Purple robe: $5

Cost of girl Denim overall dress: $6

Cost of girl Glitter ballet flats: $5

Cost of girl Purple slides: $4

Cost of girl Princess tee: $3

Time spent in "monkey area": 2 minutes

Time spent in girl area: 45 minutes

Number of times, "everyone is going to be SOO surprised we built a girl" was said on ride home: 15+

Total cost of Aunt Sporks: $81.90

Time before BNE and Best Nephew Ever will both need prince and bear respectively: 1 year (give or take)

Need to talk to Grandpop about helping: High

There you have it. Don't say I didn't warn you. Be careful near these stores. You have no idea how high the need is for those monkey tiaras is until you get sucked into the vortex. Your latte will make you feel a little better. But only a little.

8 comments:

Teresa said...

Cost to Aunt Scout: $0

Value to Aunt Scout of being called "Aunt Scout" whilst bearing absolutely no financial obligation: Priceless

Anonymous said...

You are a very sweet auntie.

You are also honorary auntie to Jezebel, who doth not require you to build-a-anything.

WenWhit said...

I was momentarily oogied out by "buy a girl skin." Ah, well, I've already acknowledged I'm weird.

Very nice Auntie outing. :)

Suzanne said...

I've never built-an-anything in one of those stores. Now I'm itching to do so.

Can I pretend you're my Auntie and have you take me there? I think I could easily adore your loose purse strings. :)

sporksforall said...

Ok, no girl skins for wenwhit. Check.

Wordsrock can have a bear. No problem. Since I don't have to buy one for Jez. Works for me.

Slangred said...

Glitter ballet flats? Purple slides?
:)
In all honesty, though, build-a-girl is a rather creepy concept. Somehow, much creepier than build-a-monkey, -a-giraffe, -a-cat, -a-bear, etc... Maybe it's the "uncomfortable valley" phenomenon. Too close to my own species to make me comfortable with the idea.

bryduck said...

"Choose a girl skin". Nice. Er, that is, yikes! But hey, if it keeps the kids happy, right? Can you choose a "boy skin" as well?

Slangred said...

Eeeewww, gross. Who'd want a boy skin? ;)