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Sunday, August 27, 2006

"On Your Feet Until We Score"

Last night, Honey, Bryduck, Slangred, and I went to see the Los Angeles Sparks play the Sacramento Monarchs in a WNBA Western Conference Championship game at the Arrowhead Pond of Anaheim. The Sparks normally play at the Staples Center in downtown L.A., but American Idol, LIVE! had booked the Staples Center, so down to Orange County we headed. That the game was in Orange County was originally a selling point to me, because one of my favorite restaurants, Rutabegorz (tasty healthy food and awesome apple pie) has three locations in Orange County.

But, then there was traffic. So much traffic. Two hours worth of traffic. Honey and I hadn't eaten in anticipation of an early dinner. But it took us so long to get there, we needed to go straight to the game.

This change of venue was not kind to the Sparks. Only the die-hardedest of fans made
the journey. Oh and us. We came.

I like the Sparks. Honey and I used to go to games occasionally when they played at the Forum. I think we both like the idea of the WNBA on several levels. There's the whole lesbian fan thing. That's good. It's like going to a lesbian bar, but it doesn't smell like spilled drinks and everyone is wearing yellow. We also like the women athletes. Beyond that, the Sparks star, Lisa Leslie, seems beyond cool. She's well-spoken, articulate, and came to an appearance at a lesbian bar a few years ago. From all reports. Lisa is a nice person. Ashton Kutcher even punked her. Lisa is cool.

There are minor things to like as well. Sparks games are cheap. We paid as much for parking as we did for the seats. To a playoff game. And I liked the Forum. It was an old-school arena.

The Sparks, during our active interest days, were good, but kept losing to the Comets en route to the championship. The finally broke through and won the championship in 2001 and again in 2002. By that time, our interest had waned. We were both glad they had won but we hadn't gone to any games. Because at the end of the day, with all the upsides, Honey isn't much of a sports fan and I am not much of a basketball fan.

Still, while I was driving to work on Friday, the Sparks advertised the playoff game on the local Air America outlet. That and Rutabegorz were enough to get me thinking.



We settle in our seats (behind the basket) and discover our proximity to superfan. Superfan was on the club level just above our heads. She has a little megaphone. And she starts shouting through it. Loudly. Towards us. Really, it was towards us. Because this Sparks game was only attended by the faithful and we had bought tickets, we were in a section of non-true fans.

"On Your Feet Until We Score!"
"On Your Feet Until We Score!"
"On Your Feet Until We Score!"
"On Your Feet Until We Score!"
"On Your Feet Until We Score!"

None of the four of us stood. She kept shouting. The Sparks didn't play well and didn't score and didn't score and she kept shouting.

Nearby her was a woman who thought telling the Sparks what to do was her job. Every admonishment started with, "Come on Ladies!" and continued with what they should do.

The Pond, home to the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim, is a nice facility. The seats were comfortable, the concourse was clean. It was, in other words, sports venue by Disney. Bryduck and I noticed that the Ducks had three banners. One celebrating their first season, one celebrating their tenth season, and one the year they made the Stanley Cup. Bryduck said they should have had a banner that said, "1995-1996, we played that year, too," just because they seemed that desperate.

Superfan kept it up. Mwadi Mabeka played relatively well in the first quarter (unlike the rest of the Sparks) and superfan liked using the megaphone to shout, "Mwadi, Mwadi, Mwadi, Mwadi, Mwadi, Mwadi, Mwadi, Mwadi" over and over and over again.

We posited (I think was Honey's idea) that the reason our seats only cost $12 each was that we had to sit near superfan.

I expressed a desire to steal the megaphone but was afraid she could catch me on her scooter if the batteries were fully charged.

"Mwadi, Mwadi, Mwadi, Mwadi, Mwadi, Mwadi, Mwadi, Mwadi"

muh waaaah deeee muh waaaah deeee muh waaaah deeee muh waaaah deeee muh waaaah deeee

Then, some Monarchs fans joined our section and I became distracted by their fan gear. One woman had her face painted and was carrying a box of Wheaties. Which she employed thusly:



I was close enough to see that she had not opened the box. So, she was in better shape than Honey or I in terms of needing/wanting to eat.

Celebratory cereal. Who knew?

At half time, I went up to throw away some trash and got a full glimpse of superfan. She then emerged to go to the bathroom. Here she is:



She may own one of everything the Sparks have ever sold.

I love sports and love being a fan. Two of the happiest times in my life were game six of the 1995 World Series and game seven of the 2002 World Series. Watching my teams win was amazing. And I'm glad superfan loves the Sparks. I really am. My attitude toward her softened once I saw her in the hall. It also helped that by this time, the Sparks were so far behind, she was less vocal.

I can't help but worry about superfan. The Sparks had 41 games this season, including pre-season and playoffs. Twenty of those games were at home. I wonder if I would want to live my life such that 20 times a year I was in my element. I guess I hope superfan has other passions.

We left before the game was over and got lost on the way to Ruta's. When we finally settled there, it was nice.

During dinner I kept thinking back to superfan and the woman who was walking out of the Pond as we were. She was on a profanity filled tirade that went something like, "I can't believe I'm in f***ing Anaheim. If we were at the f***ing Staples Center, I would be f***ing closer to f***ing home. And we rode the f***ing bus. If we had driven the f***ing car, we could leave now. We f***ing suck. The Monarchs f***ing suck. But we f***ing suck worse. F***."

I am happy, I think, once again, to close this door. I like a lot of what the WNBA and the Sparks are, but there's a bit of it that makes me a little sad. And so, I'll let it recede into my past again until it's all hazy enough to remember it fondly and make me want to go back again.

By that time, they'll be back at the Staples Center and we can go to Phillipe's for French Dips. Mmmm.

10 comments:

Suzanne said...

My favorite scoring position is reclined. But that's just me.

I love how there is always a food element in your adventures. :)

Unknown said...

1. Why is a woman who is clearly in a wheelchair and cannot stand admonishing everyone else to stand?
2. I wish I was a sports fan. It seems rather festive. I but I don't comprehend sports either emotionally or on a basic what-are-the-rules level.
3. Next time you go to a sports event, can I paint your face?

sporksforall said...

Words...
food helps the adventure be more festive...

Treecup:
1. I have no idea. When I realized she was in a wheelchair, I thought, "I'll get up when you do."
3. No. Not gonna happen.

WenWhit said...

In the interim, we have football!!! (And you get the added bonus of watching your honey roll her eyes).

Middle Girl said...

Chicago Sky W 5 L 29 :(

Focus, such as it is, has turned to soccer. USA 4 China 1 and I was there. :)

Teresa said...

I think it's nice to enjoy sports, and even nicer not to get too worked up about whether your team wins. It's just unwise to invest emotion in something so completely out of one's own control.

(I can't take credit for the idea that our tix were cheap because of their proximity to superfan; that was slang.)

Slangred said...

The companionship with sporks and scout and the novelty of the event, plus phenomenal apple pie made up for the poor turnout by our home team.

And superfan? Wow, yeah, superfan.

bryduck said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
bryduck said...

You know, if I were an insecure ahole, I would let it be known that I came up with the line about why our tix were $12 when across the aisle they cost $7 more, but since I'm not, I won't.

SassyFemme said...

We sat near someone like Superfan in SA during the '05 season. I wanted to crawl in a hole. The on your feet thing... It was a tradition in SA. The section leaders would walk around holding signs that said that, everyone did it. We were shocked to see that they didn't do it in CT. I actually like it. It shows support for the team. The profanity tirade just shows a lack of class. It's one thing to cuss a little at home, its another thing to do something like that in public. It's even worse at a game like that with tons of kids around.