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Saturday, August 19, 2006

Warning!



Since yesterday, I've been thinking about warning signs. So, I'd like to offer a short cautionary tale with visual aids.

Once, there was a duck:



Who lived with a guy who looked like this:



The duck and the guy went on a trip to the ocean. Where they met the guy's friend, the squid.



It is true that the squid was a little clingy. But that was only to protect from the flying rocks in the area. They were safe on the beach, you see.



So, the squid, duck and guy hung out on the beach.

The duck and the squid really hit it off. It was true love at first sight. The guy had inter-species love issues. He started talking about what was "natural." The duck and squid swam off to be by themselves.

Then the wind shifted.



And the sea rose. This wasn't a problem for the duck or the squid. But, our friend, guy, was in trouble. As you can clearly see.



In fact, things got so bad, that there was an anti-people stance taken by the ocean. It erected a sign.

Duck and squid tried to save him anyway. But he wouldn't take their help.



The water rose and the guy swam and swam until he entered a mineshaft. He grabbed some nearby equipment. It turned out to be a bad move.

First his hand was crushed.




Then, trying to free himself, his other hand was, well, worse.

(Ok, I know they're both left hands. I can't help it, that's what the signs look like and my photoshop skills aren't up to thumb rearrangement. So a little suspension of disbelief, if you please.)



The waters receded just in time, and our guy lay on the floor of the mineshaft, bleeding and exhausted. Just as he was gathering his strength to try to get up and venture down the one tunnel that wasn't flooded and get himself some help, he noticed the most horrifying sign of all.



So, rather than take that tunnel, he just lay there. They say he was never heard from again.

And the duck and the squid? They swam off to look for new adventures and lived happily ever after, or so I'm told. They live in a land where duck/squid marriage was celebrated. They adopted some homeless baby squirrels, live in a lovely ranch home and raise orchids.

The moral of the story? Pay attention to warning signs and don't judge who others love.

5 comments:

Slangred said...

Okay, but the monkey and the woman commercial still disturbs me. Whenever I see that commercial, I am thinking: "Is this monkey oppressed? Is he incapable of finding other work? Is he empowered? Is he the scarred remnant of some psychological trauma? Is he enjoying this? Is he offended that I'm not enjoying this? etc."

bryduck said...

Yay, a story with baby squirrels!

Teresa said...

Nice allegory, Sporkness. Though I have to disagree with the idea of cat pictures being horrifying. Cat pictures are cute and funny and make me laugh like a little developmentally disabled girl!

WenWhit said...

Are you sure that first hand-in-equipment photo isn't a right hand? 'Cause I can totally see that last remaining digit being a right-hand pinky.

Moral of the story? No need to defend what hasn't been criticized. ;p

WenWhit said...

Oh - and remind Scout that the correct term is "a girl with a developmental disability." People-first language, damnit!