Snakes on a plane and at the vet

I have been thinking about the upcoming movie Snakes on a Plane since I heard about it. I also like that the phrase has entered the lexicon as a sort of "can't do anything about this shit" stand-in. I don't even know if I'll see the movie, but I like the idea.

Anyway, I was at the vet's office yesterday with Biscuit the wonder dog. She has an ear infection. She won't let me clean her ears. See previous post. She wouldn't let the vet clean her ears either. Four people tried and as the vet said, "she wasn't mean or anything, but she was pretty clear that she wasn't going to let us do it." Honey and I are now giving her ear medicine. We've found that if we put her in the sink and make it quick, she's only a little freaked out. It does take both of us and the sink.

By the by, I was really pleased with myself for knowing how much Biscuit weighed. I kept telling people she weighed 35 pounds, but she hadn't been weighed before. She stepped onto the vet scale, hunkered down like it hurt and the display flashed 34.5 pounds. Let me know if you'd like me to come by and guess your dog's weight. I can't do people or any other animal, so it's only your dog who will be embarrassed. Maybe I should get a booth.

So, Biscuit and I are waiting in the lobby for her medicines and she's being Biscuity. She keeps approaching people for pets, except for this one guy she decides is a threat. She keep barking at him. People are freaky about their dogs at the vet. Several haul their dogs away from greeting Biscuit. Including one guy with a border collie puppy. There's no way that puppy and Biscuit were going to get into it. Whatever.

Then this dude (and that's the only way to describe him) comes in with a BIG snake wrapped around his neck and shoulders. His pants are hanging down and he's grungy. And he talks like a dude. He's in a total panic. At first I think he's being strangled by the snake. He's not. Which is good.

Biscuit doesn't react to the snake at all. The guy with the really sick bassett hound is a threat. The giant snake is not.

Dude says in a panicky high voice, "Um,can someone help me?"

Vet receptionist, "Oh, I'm sorry, we don't deal with snakes."

Dude (almost crying), "Is there someone who could just answer some questions for me?"

Bottom lime seemed to be that Dud went out of town and his snake sitter (there's a job I don't want) fed his snake a frozen mouse. She was in distress about it, drinking lots of water and blowing bubbles into her water in an attempt to digest the frozen mouse. Dude also didn't have any money and couldn't pay anybody, so when they tried to refer him to another vet he started crying. I could go into the Animal Precinct rap about how you shouldn't have a pet if you can't pay, but Dude loved that snake. And I got a dog when I was young and couldn't pay.

Now bassett guy (the big threat in Biscuit's eyes) was looking at $1500. He seemed sanguine about it though.

One of the vet techs who had worked at a vet's office that dealt with "exotics" came out and talked to Dude and seemed to think the snake was going to be fine.

It was sweet. I hadn't been to that vet before. I'll go back. Even if they can't find four people to hold down my 34.5 pound dog. They helped snake dude. They gave me medicine and no unnecessary tests. And if we're all lucky, bassett guy will not cross Biscuit's path again.