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Monday, September 25, 2006

Just so you know (women only)

So, um, really, this, um, is only for women. It will not apply to men. Ready?

Ok.

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If your gynecologist...
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(you sure you're ready?)
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...wants to scrape your uterine wall...
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and you consent (because, well, she's the expert and said you needed it)...
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(even if she shows you the tissue because it is sort of cool...)
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you will feel REALLY crampy all afternoon.

9 comments:

Suzanne said...

Eh, uterine scraping can't come close to the crampy feeling of childbirth. Don't be such a wimp.

Uh... what I really mean is hope you feel better soon. Yeah. That's it. Feel better.

sporksforall said...

I'm sure the crampy feelings associated with childbirth are WAY worse. But they generally don't just happen on a Monday without warning. Plus, the tissue in the jar isn't exactly a child. :)

Slangred said...

I can't speak for the crampy feeling from childbirth. I can say that if your doctor ever says you need a cone biopsy for cell dysplasia in your cervix, and then, because of those results, tells you you need cryosurgery (freezing out the bad cells, which necessitates a preceding shot of anesthesia to your cervix with a nice long needle), know ahead of time that the experience--for those of us who haven't gone through childbirth--epitomizes "crampy." In a bad way.
Sporks, next time if you write about ophthalmological processes, I can share my story about laser retinal surgery. Yay!

WenWhit said...

"The tissue in the jar..." Good God Sporks, that's just too vivid.

I sincerely hope you're feeling better. :)

Teresa said...

Why didn't you bring the jar home? I didn't know there was a potential souvenir involved.

sporksforall said...

Ok, more about the tissue...

She sort of shook it, so that all my uterine tissue floated around and glimmered in the flourescent light.

I couldn't bring it home. It's being laboritoried.

Suzanne said...

Well. You coulda brought pictures at least!

SassyFemme said...

Okay, this was lovely considering I have a gyn procedure coming up tomorrow. Maybe I'll just pop a shitload of advil beforehand! Seriously, hope you're doing okay.

Unknown said...

Jezebel looks forward to meeting her new pal, tissueinacup.