Lecturing to big classes (which is mostly what I did) requires intellect, a little bit of charisma, and preparation. No problem (for me). It also (especially on a commuter campus like my IHE) doesn't ask for much student/professor interaction. I only saw students who were in crisis or who wanted to really engage. The former can require some finesse, the latter are great and I could shoot the shit with them in office hours. And it all lasted 15 weeks. No more no less. The next semester there were a new 200 folks to tell the same jokes and stories to. I tried to mix it up and keep things fresh. But in lots of ways it was easy. I didn't really have to work with anybody. And because I was (and am, I have to remind myself) a lecturer, I didn't have to go to faculty meetings or serve on committees. If I wanted to interact with my colleagues, I just had to wander down the hall and chat. I didn't do that a lot, but it did allow for consistency from semester to semester.
My IHE has two set-ups, three times a week 50 minutes and twice a week for 75 minutes. Students and full-time faculty prefer the twice a week 75 minute thing, so I rarely got to teach in that schedule. That was fine with me. I discovered early that it's MUCH harder to be cute for 75 minutes. The students and I would lose steam at an hour or so. It's probably why TV shows and therapy sessions are 50 minutes. Maybe I've hit on some profound truth here. I doubt it.
If I taught a night class I simply divided it up into three fifty minute sessions with breaks. See how clever I am? And then when I taught summer school and had 1 hour 45 minute blocks, I really had two fifty minute blocks with a five minute break. I lived my life fifty minutes at a time.
Those of you who have been paying attention, despite the pervasiveness of Gliz and Neve in the blog, will note that the last two weeks haven't been great at work.
Last night AD and I talked for a long time after everyone had left. She's in a similar situation, having moved from being an advisor to be AD. Being an advisor, at least at our IHE, meant 30 minute blocks. I said to her that I thought we were both in the same boat. We had been trained and were good at what we did. And then we were both asked (me by the Dean, she by me) to stop doing what we were good at and do something TOTALLY different. Something for which neither one of us was trained. At all.
I can't ever stop being the boss to anyone in the office, but I am trying to get AD and I to a different point. She's finally starting to be honest with me. She caught me funny on Thursday and I got emotional. It was a mistake and my therapist has suggested a couple of "workbooks" to help me. (It didn't hurt, I suppose, that AD had caught me funny and then I left for therapy). I, being the former good student I am, ordered the books from Amazon when I got home (along with a mystery to get free super saver shipping).
My angst over all of this is real, but I've also blown it out of proportion. I do know that. AD said the same thing. "This shouldn't take so much time and energy," was her feeling. She's right. It's not like we're stockers at Wal-Mart. That's misery. (I saw Nickled and Dimed last night).
If I don't get to be permanent director of the thing I'm interim director of it will be a huge (maybe devastating) blow to my career. So I'm going to bring in lunch for everybody next week. They'll probably think I have ulterior motives. My motives are the same as they've always been. I want to be good at what I do, I want to be liked, I want to be respected. I've also been going for the permanent directorship since the day I walked through the door. And it may be that those things I want aren't all possible.
And maybe I should go back to fifty minutes at a time. But maybe I should try to get good at this. If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well. Honesty with AD and weekly therapy may just get me there. Stay tuned.
Oh, and happy end to the Olympics...
4 comments:
You being you, of extreme intelligence and kind-hearted and someone I enjoy spending almost all my free-time-for-friends with. Immensely. I find you cute and charming for hours on end. And if your IHE knows what's excellent for it, you'll have your permanent directorship.
I wish you well, always.
I dunno. "Don't feed the animals," can be words to live by. I've advised you, perhaps wrongly, to hold your line and make no concessions to Fletcher Christian et al. But I'm all too aware that my customary no-nonsense nature at work has made many an employee think that I "hate them." In other words, I make a crap manager, so ignore me.
I agree with SR -- you're fun to be with for far longer than 50 minutes at a time. Didn't I just try to convince you of that last week?
I chime in with slangred and sandra in re: your potential for an over-50 minutes personality.
Having been a manager before (and a damn good one at that, I have no problem believing), I can attest to the fact that it does require some hand-holding and animal-feeding. Much like raising the young, I suppose, the work is worth it in the long run due to the attendant reduction of stress afterwards. I am way too much of a prig to bow down too low, but the object is to replace those above you that suck, not piss them off so that you are the one replaced. If the job required too much obvious ass-kissing, I simply made sure I was above reproach and reported to someone higher on the food chain that I was being made to feel uncomfortable. If the whole chain was corrupt, I made arrangements to flee the scene as quickly as possible. If a "subordinate" was the cause of my pain, I documented everything and made those above me aware of my unhappiness with that individual. You are in charge and there is absolutely no reason to take crap from those below you, unless they are "connected". (And if that's the case, see my response to a "corrupt chain".)
I realize you don't write these posts in order to get comments like this, but I've got to have been in retail/management for some reason, right? And if it wasn't to help my friends, what the heck was I doing?
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