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Monday, July 24, 2006

Yellow rubber clogs, The first 24 hours: A Report



Here are the details:

Crocs Cayman Clogs
Size: Large (Sporks has big ol' feet.)
Color: Butter

Beautiful, aren't they? Can I get an amen?

Timeline:
Hour -1
Honey and future clog owner (FCO) enter Sports Chalet, where the promise to "take to the limit" didn't really appeal. Why were they there? To buy Honey water shoes.

FCO notices the Crocs flip flops. FCO gasps. FCO tries the flip flops on. They do not suit FCO (between toe hurt is palpable). FCO then puts on a pair of brown clogs. FCO dances around a little. No laughing at FCO.

FCO checks out the colors. Decides on yellow. Becomes Clog owner (CO) and $30 poorer.

Hours 1-3
Clogs ride and sit (in bag) around in the hot car. CO is a little worried they'll melt. CO and clogs are brave.

Hour 4
Clogs arrive home. After other purchases are put away, they accompany CO (in hand) to office. Dog tries to steal them. Dog is admonished. Picture of left clog taken.

Hour 5
Blog entry written. Clog picture uploaded.

Hour 6
Famous bloggers 1 and 2 make fun of clogs in comments of blog entry. One of famous blogging duo also makes fun of clogs in private e-mail. Suggests that clogs may protect from lightning strike. CO thinks this is an added benefit.

Hours 7-9
Clogs rest comfortably under desk. This is where they go for now.

Hour 10
Presidential Candidate makes fun of CO for liking clogs in blog comments. PC suggests that CO should be called Anke Ousterhoudt.

Hours 11-19
Clogs continue to rest under desk. They are unaware that they have been maligned. Bless their hearts.

Hour 20
Clogs are put on with all black outfit. Honey assesses and argues for less contrast between somberness of outfit and clog-itude. Shirt changed to one of loud variety. Honey reassesses. Approves (sort of). CO becomes Clog Wearer (CW).

Hour 21
Clogs are helpful in driving. They also get several looks in Starbucks. CW decides fellow Starbucks patrons are jealous. She resists telling them where similar can be procured. Clogs come to office and are also greeted by jealousy. Clog wearer theorizes jealousy is so thick in office that no one dare speak. CW sees furtive looks. CW and clogs discuss and decide that no one wants to kiss up to CW about clogs because it's performance evaluation time. No one wants to be untoward. CW applauds her staff's restraint.

Hours 22-23
CW and clogs do work. Clogs are very helpful to CW. There may have been some bouncing on feet in office. Reports vary.

Hour 24
Clogs are deemed to be worthy of blog entry of their own. CW writes said entry. Discovers in doing so that "yellow" clogs are actually a color called "butter." CW likes them even more as a result. Decides to call them buttery rubbery clogs from now on. Also decides that clog days are good days. Still contemplating whether Anke Ousterhoudt would be a better appellation for self than sporksforall or actual name.

12 comments:

Slangred said...

Shoes always deserve their own entry!

WenWhit said...

Hour 26:

FB1 proposes that staff are merely envious of CW's apparent safety in the event of lightning.

Unknown said...

Far from condemning CW or C themselves, I have some practical questions. I'm inclined to like the clogs because I want to move toward all vegetarian shoes, but the first pair of vegetarian shoes I bought (for an unheard of, for me, 90 bucks -- I usually pay less than ten bucks for shoes) didn't hold up to well. So:
* How do the clogs breathe? Don't they make your tootsies sweat?
* Do you have to wear socks with them to not make your tootsies sweat?
* That backstrap looks a little snug -- does it hurt?

sporksforall said...

CW reactions:

CW would like to note that pink scary things in slangred's avatar are not shoes. Clogs are shoes.

CW agreed with FB1 in principle, but has yet to witness lightning in SoCal. Still, CW appreciates the continuation of report.

CW would supplement report with the following for Treecup edification...
Foot sweat is minimal. Snail socks are recommended for those with extra sweaty feet. Clogs should be purchased in loose size. Backstrap does not bind when above is observed in purchase.

Suzanne said...

Does CW have a strategy to keep the buttery rubbery clogs clean and buttery looking, or are they fated to suffer from absorption of ambient dirt and inevitable scuffs as CW happily bounces from place to place?

Much like the patrons in your Starbucks, I have bestowed surreptitious glances upon those wearing similar footwear. Said glances were not envious, rather more like, "WTF kinda shoes are those and why is that person wearing them in public?"

But hey, if they make you happy, they make me happy too. Enjoy!

sporksforall said...

CW has heard that one can put them in the dishwasher.

If the butteryness becomes muddled, a chocolate pair may have to be secured. That may become necessary anyway.

Jealousy takes many forms. And should you need them in the dead of winter, CW would loan them out.

Teresa said...

As a WOCW (wife of clog wearer) I can assure certain famous bloggers who haven't yet had the pleasure of meeting CW that she in fact owns louder, funkier footwear than this. Also, I am in favor of any footwear that makes my honey comfortable and happy. Clog on, oh CW of mine.

Love, your beloved wearer of sensible footwear in primarily muted colors.

weese said...

geez...i miss alot in a couple days around here.
i have to say...i still don't get the whole 'rubber' shoe thing.

KMae said...

Mine are hot pink.

Anonymous said...

Those RICS are VERY popular here among the retail nursery and service industry folks. My Mom was gonna get me pair with retail discount, before she quit that job. I like them! I'd totally wear chocolate or navy blue. At my local organic gardening shop, I see as many RICS wearers as those wearing those sneakers with the spring on the heel -- THAT is a "WTF?!" kindof shoe.
ST

sporksforall said...

See, this is why you're a woman of good taste, ST. They'd look great with the house redo. I'm thinking Navy.

bryduck said...

I am monumentally astounded by your butter shoes. I'm wondering, though, if you'll wear them enough in the sun to get little circular sunburns on the tops of your feet. That would be awesome.