Ok, ok, I know EVERYONE is playing poker these days. It's all so cliched. I learned the play poker from my Dad, who likes to play his law partners. He likes it because he takes their money. I like poker too, though as those of you who read this blog know, I tend to turn pink when I'm excited.
When I started my current job and found that the whole office was a bit poker mad, led by the office manager. The rest of the office often looks to her as a guide for what's good and right in the world. Her mood sets the office mood. She loves poker and everyone else seemed to fall in line.
Occasionally, we have poker parties at office manager's house and tonight's one of them. I go about half the time. The other half the time I beg off or am not invited. It's sort of like the office Friday lunch. I get invited sometimes but I rarely go. When I do go, I sense that they would have just as soon had me skip it. Honey says I should always make Friday lunch plans. I'm too much of a social goober to do that, but when I do, I am always glad to say that I can't go. Everyone is so relieved.
A couple of times I've been in the final two in the winner take all pot during the poker parties. I've never won, however. Inevitably, the person that beat me felt bad about it. It's not that they feel sorry for me or anything, but I'm the BOSS.
I forget that a lot. People act reluctant to ask for vacation; they defer to me. It can all go to my head. Last week I talked the Assistant Director down from her opinion in the middle of a staff meeting and then realized that I shouldn't have done it. I apologized to her and am going to try to be more thoughtful about that kind of stuff in the future.
I guess it's hard to have it both ways. Respect and distance often go hand in hand. I appreciate that they invite me at all, I guess, but wish I were just one of the gang.
I decided to be an academic in part because it struck me as less hierarchical than most jobs. While that is true, I get a little tense around the Dean, a lot tense around the Provost and the President's presence makes my mouth pasty. I guess I fit somewhere on that food chain and the staff in my office know it, even if I forget it sometimes.
Meanwhile, tonight, I play quietly and carefully and probably lose. And it's probably best that I do. At least I'm pretty sure they like me enough not to shoot me in the back, even if I have Aces and Eights.
7 comments:
If you were my boss I wonder if you'd say "no" to me less because you felt bad. Heh.
Hey now, I said yes to AFS (Milwaukee!) and the textbook. So there.
I was reminded today that the distance you refer to exists not just between boss and employee but between teacher and student. Sometimes I have a really talented student and think it'd be nice to just get to know them, but it'll never happen.
I do know of another faculty member who doesn't seem to fall into that pattern -- she's even been known to go on vacation with them. However, I'm not so certain if the lack of distance is such a good thing either.
On the contrary, I got to be friends with a student a few years ago who proved to be a total mess. To this day, I have to avoid her and there's this weird "I'm rejecting my pupil" dynamic in every moment of the avoidance. I lost at poker, a little deliberately.
As bad as they feel when they beat you, I'd bet it's not half as bad as you'd feel if you took all their money. After all, you know what their salaries are.
Evrybody knows everybody's salary. They're published in a book at the library. But, you're right Scout, I should just hand them $5 and leave.
Yeah, those libraries with all their information. They think they're so superior.
You know, Sporks, you may simply be confusing them by being so nice/considerate. They may be used to the Boss coming in and raking all their hard earned shekels into his/her pocket, and you're simply bewildering them by losing. Earn respect by taking everything from them you can. Time, money, staplers--whatever. Only in this way can you prove to your "superiors" that you belong in a position of power.
Or not.
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